Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
