I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
