We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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