Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
