as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
