eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
