do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
