Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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