How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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