Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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