Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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