she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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