we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
