conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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