I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
