Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How's work?
Spinning.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
