You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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