Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
