just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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