I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
