Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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