I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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