I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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