im gay
i know
yea but for you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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