You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize