are you still at the devil's house?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
