That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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