Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
