One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so let's talk penis.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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