I just threw up on my dentist
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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