Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
