I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
