remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
