She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize