Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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