Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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