Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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