he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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