So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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