Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
