quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
