i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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