Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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