whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
