if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
