Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
