Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
