I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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