Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
