grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
