Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
