On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize