I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
