She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
