if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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