I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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