my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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