some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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