how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize