he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
