YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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