I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
