kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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