Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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