ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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