I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize