Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
