Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
