Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
