You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
