Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
