I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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