You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
