Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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